the sad tuesday

it was a horrible Tuesday for me.

i get accused everytime for things i did not do/ not within my control. today tt arrogant guy flare up n scolded me like there's no tmr. he assumed tt i did not cor to check (wen i did) and assumed tt everythg i said to him were not correct information. wth.

because of all de emotions bottled up in me, i brokedown unexpectedly. i cried in front of my colleagues. who cares bout face at tt pt in time. i didnt ask my tears to flow, it jus did uncontrollably. it jus reminded me of the times at scb, hell experience equivalent. i tink i shocked everyone wif my tears. i felt so disgraceful. i cant even stand up for myself. no matter how angry i am, i cant possibly insist tt im right? cos tt guy is an ultra ego guy, and he is the one who writes my appraisal. how?! i dun wan to b backlisted like one of my colleague :/

exams are coming. i studied halfway, and just cried. im not sad bcos of exams, its the stress inside me. monday while tokin to my boy, him askin me how am i, i just brokedown and cry again. am i speechless or am i jus feelin lost? i dunno. the fear of failing exams, not doing well, its frightening me i guess.

one nite overheard wad my mum said, it sorta jus demoralise me (again). she told my sis tt she's waitin for her to sponsor her to xxx country for holiday. she prolly tout she cant rely on this spendthrift daughter of hers. i felt v unappreciated. no matter wad i do, it doesnt pls her. the heart hurts. i dun hav to save for her trip anymore.

at times, sucidal thoughts come into my mind. i dun seem to satisfy anyone, no one seems happy wif me. the worst happens wen even my boy isnt happy wif me. it makes me feel as if the whole world are filled wif aliens and im all alone to cope wif all this shits. i hate myself.

i try to forgive n forget. but wenever such unfair treatment comes along, it makes me doubt my presence at home. wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, study, sleep. the only consolation factor is prolly stayin over at my boy's plc over de wkend. at least i dun hav to face home 7 days a wk.

how well do they know their daughter? *cries*

-I miss you very much dear. Take care while you're outfield.. *Lost in thoughts*-

tis wk pass pretty fast i tink? with my boy being so busy in camp, and me being busy wif my sch stuff, time reali flies. its been a tiring wk for my boy, slpin less than 3 hrs a day! *faint* one of de days, he told me to wake him up at 3.45 am if i cld wake up! omg. i practically din slp de whole nite, fearin i wun b able to wake him up on time :/ his buddy is on MC thus no one to cor him man. as u noe, he's a sleepy pig! hehehe.. *jokes*

nth impt to announce.. but stil.. ahem.. im officially 21! hehehe.. havin mixed feelings tho. b4 i reached 21, always felt happy wenever i cel my b/day, cos im reachin adulthood soon! but now tt im 21, i feel ultra old! hahaha..and more responsibilities surfacing!

ok lar, dun tink too much for now =p met June and Angeline babe over the wk too. thanks for the dinner and gift :) really really very happy! *smiles* it was a good time catching wif 2 of them! its been how long since i met Angeline babe? 9 mths! LOL..frenship is not measured by distance or time yea? feelin happy for her too. she's going to Taiwan wif her boy in June after their exams! hehe *sweet sweet sweet*

thats June @ NYDC:


hehe:


Friday nite, my boy tried giving me a surprise, but it failed! lol.. he told me he couldnt book out, so cld only wish me Happy Birthday on the fone (which i was ok wif in fact). den i heard like those wind blowing while tokin to him, casually i ask him lar, where u now? he still wanna kp a secret and say he's in bunk, n tt his place v windy! LOL..

being the nice me, i didnt spoil his surprise ok! yeah he ended up appearing at the lobby of my plc and wish me happy Birthday :) hehehe. *smiles* it was a short one as it was late, but im really happy for tt. *thank u so much*

Saturday was erh... horrible to wake him up! wahahaha.. he took 3 hours to wake up manz! imagine i hang down de fone after him tellin me he's going to wash up aldy, den half an hr later, i realised he wen bk to slp! lol.. *ah bish*

my boy drove down to Wheelock and we had lunch @ Big O :) it was a simple Saturday, no specific celebration, but it was memorable :) watched Date Movie @ MS den did a bit of shopping! hehe, received my variable bonus liao =p come dinner time, we settled our hungry stomachs @ Wisma's Ding Tai Fung! *yummy* loves the xiao long bao so muchie!





hehehe~ our legs hurt quite a bit wif all the walkin in de noon, so we decided to not watch our 2nd movie. another day perhaps :) my boy drove to Kent Ridge Park thereafter to romantic-romantic, LOL! nice cosy place =) heh.



the later part of the nite was spent supper-ing wif ah mou n piggy :) had de usual prata and wen driving ard lookin at big houses n beautiful cars! =p so shiok! lol. superb tired de moment we got home. check my mail for any sch updates, den off we wen to dreamland. my boy told me he's so tired he dun even feel like bathing! lol.

*tired tired tired* got up ard 11 on Sunday. back hurts! did some misc stuff, lazed ard, feelin so lazy! lol. we wen out late noon, back to the house we viewed last nite! it was too dark last nite, so wen again to check it out! muahahah~ had dinner @ PS's foodcourt. my boy n i were aiming to eat de same food! *corny* i told him, b4 we left hse, i aldy had in mind eating xxx. den at the carpark he told me "hey later we go eat xxx la?" heh, the telepathy still works! LOL.

very tired back home. lotsa things to do in fact but no motivation :/ sigh, hopeless me! my boy's gonna be very busy till mid may, sob! expecting some wkends to be burnt liao, hugs. we're gonna get new couple specs next month! wahahha. not exactly 'couple specs' but rather the same outlook? aiyah, dunno how to describe, but liao den show! hehehe... *excited*

its gonna be another hell wk of work! anyway, wishes for the 2 couples hu just got together! heh. sweet sweet sweet :):):) enjoy the joy love can bring u! *smiles*

bah, my com has officially died. totally cant work, sad.i am so dead wif all my assignment deadline. sigh sigh...sad :/

MIA!

heh birthday pictures :)

okie im back :) hehe. thank u all for coming to my 21st birthday party =) the pictures expresses all joy yah? hehe.

oh yea, i finally hav a brand new scanner, so tadah!the love message tt appeared on New Paper on Valentines Day! hehe, so happy to see it =)



heh..with the balloons my boy bought :) my fav pooh bear! hehe



the outlook of the chalet:


with jinwei and ah mou :)


with leng leng, brenda, jolin & janis :)


with my parents :)


with claire and aloy :)


with yao kun and meijun :)


with farhan, jeff and christian :)


with ah chan and peg :)


with joyce, cj, lihe and ro :)


with jolyn and don :)


with peiling and candy :)


with the guys hu came so late! hehe :P


hehe a picture of fun laughter n joy :P


hehe the key tiramisu birthday cake. my boy melted my heart wen he chose to play "Tong Hua" before the birthday song was sang :P it was a song tt signify our love, he told me "its ok if they dunno wad it means, as long as u noe, its for u" *melt melt melt* LOL.. touched but i control, cannot cry! too many ppl liao! *grin*



-ok i lazy to post the rest taken togeda wif de bdae cake liao-

Photos of my 21st birthday can be taken @:

http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/jacpiggie/my_photos

Cheers~

thank you everyone, for ur gifts, and most imptly ur presence :) really appreciate it a lot :) thank u mum n dad, n my boy too, for helping out in everythg to make sure all goes well :) *smiles*

-ah, my speaker suddenly choose to have sound today! lol.. its been so muted for a few mths n i couldnt find out wads wrong wif it. but today it finally worked! can play "tong hua" le! muahahah-

the updated one :)

(written @ work again, hee)

Gawd..my body aches.. I need a massage..! lol.. been feelin very lethargic these weeks. Going for lectures, rushing out assignments blah blah. Its reali torturing on my health! Days wen I hav lectures, by the time I get home its already 11+! And I actually 'took a rest' during lectures, lol. Too tired, so I doze off for awhile..hehe.

Tis term is really bad. I really cant understand wad the lecturer is saying! Save me. He toks like a bullet train, I cld only catch like 50%? Hai. My fren feedback tt to him, askin him to slow down, guess wad he said? 'oh that is not possible. Askin me to slow down is like askin me to stand wif one leg'. Wa lau,.. ok lor. His lessons are also very draggy.. sigh sigh.

These tiredness have made me lose some of my memory. Brain cells are dying.. seriously cant recall wad I’ve been doin lately. Using the pictures I took to recap now..

Taking wif de beautiful flowers my boy gave me for V-day:



Bah. He was late, and I cld feel de unhappiness in me. Msged him..and he stil replied me in a very nice manner = very unlike him! So wen I finally met up wif him, he took out de bouquet of flowers wif de cute little bear that goes “'mmwahhh I love u I love u'. gee, in the car, he told me he was late bcos he wen to get flowers + the florist took her own time to arrange! Lol.. he said 'I had to put down my ego and still msg u nicely lor..'bah. I waited for 1hr+ for him, of cuz will be a little unhappy rite! Ok la, but his reason is accepted:):):) thank you for the beautiful flowers baby~

Oh well, but good things always come to an end. I rem we had a heated argument thereafter in the afternoon. Sigh. What for gimme flowers wen things r still going wrong..hai. took quite a long time to tok it out calmly. I tink we spent de whole Saturday brooding on it. Ever since he entered this unit, de stress level increase and more easily short-termpered. –hugs- I hope things like this wun happen again. Hai. He told me 'sorry to imprint such sad memories into your life. But they’ll remain as memories, good to be forgotten cos it wun happen le. Never ever..baby u mean a great deal to me, I dun wanna lose u. hope u still love me, cos im always loving u. so many things I wanna tell u, so little time, im sorry for putting u thru this hardship, it’ll be over soon'.

We wen out after tt, but I cant rem where. Spent de nite at my boy’s place before we headed to Raffles City for coffee on Sunday. Hee, took some funny pictures:

his va actress, jeanette aw! hehe..


aint he lucky to have 3 pretty ladies hehe..




Celebrated my mum’s birthday on one of de Saturdays too. It’s a tradition in my family to have a meal togeda, den on de actual day cake-cutting =) dinner was @ Marina Square’s Pariss Buffet! Hee, first time there, so very excited :p the food there is pretty good, esp if you enjoy eating oyster.. salmon etc. it’ll be value for money eh.

My boy picked me up for breakfast on Sunday on de way back fr camp. It was a short day as he was feelin tired. So nothing much about tt day.. –hugs-

some shots taken, thanks to IG:







our fav pic:


jus before leaving:


the love renewal (?):


Happy (very) belated anniversary baby!

We din exactly countdown to the day, but we were by each other’s side tt nite:)

Finally.. I could present to him the scrapbook I’ve been workin on for the past year. Everytime very tempted to show him lor. Den wen I buy those materials, I also cant tell him wad is it for.. so xin ku to keep a surprise! But I tink this the first time I succeeded to make it a surprise! Hehe. De rest.. all he found out earlier.. not fair~

Some snapshots of the scrapbook:













Had a very simple celebration. We woke up early to makan @ Suntec’s Porridge Buffet! Very yummy n cheap! Hehe. Caught the movie ‘Rumour Has It’ too..nice touching show, hehe :p din had much time togeda, but it was a lovely day to remember :p love you.

last wkend was spent @ my boy's fren's birthday party. Happy 21st Birthday Meijun! :p so many March babies! hehe.. :D

You make me love you more and more each day. time is short, I’ll treasure every moment I have with you. I wish tis fairytale wil nv end.. but I feel a bad hunch,. few nites ago, I dreamt of bad things happening to us, like history of my past r/s happening to tis as well, gosh. Hopefully, its just my crazy thoughts running again.. we'll still go thru thick n thin wif each other :) love u as much as u love me :D